The Fall of the Tomato Civilization

Meanwhile, in Some Dimension…

As I wandered through eerie ruins, I spotted a red figure in the distance. I waved, and they waved back, so I approached. He had a long beard, a staff, and looked like a dried tomato. I asked, “What’s up?”

He began a story about how green tomatoes once played there, but a disagreement over whether to say “to-MAY-toh” or “to-MAH-toh” tore the community apart. Friends became enemies, and civil war broke out. “Cherries were the first to go,” he lamented. The real twist? The leaders, who fueled the conflict, were secretly running a ketchup business—and were the same person, disguised with a fake mustache.

I asked, “So, what’s the correct pronunciation?”

“We still don’t know,” he replied.